AMAre You A "Fling" To Him...Or Something

Have you ever been friends with a


man and wanted something better...but had not been

able or known how to turn it into something

more?



If so, then there's something you should

know about how to trigger that special emotion

inside a man's mind that gets him

"feeling it" for you.



It's called EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION.



I've put together a special letter that explains

in detail what that certain kind of attraction is,

and what you can do to make a man sit up and take

notice of you like never before.



You can read about all my very best tips and

Secrets for creating that INTENSE and lasting

ATTRACTION with your man right here:Did you know that most men decide if a woman is


"girlfriend material" within a few seconds of

meeting her?



And here's what is even more fascinating and

strange about how men think and feel...



If you don't know how to create the right

first impression with a man, then you just might

get thrown into the "just a friend" category

before you can even talk to or connect with him.



And guess what that means?



Everything that you do after a man gets that

initial impression about you is run through the

"she's just a friend" filter... and this can make

being in the "friend zone" almost inescapable.



ESPECIALLY if you're looking to get involved

with a man for MORE THAN JUST A FLING.



But, there IS something you can do about this.



If you want to learn the mistakes lots of women

make in first and second impressions that land

them in the "friend zone"...



And what you can do instead that will make him

think "GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL" from the get-go, then

keep reading...



WHY A MAN RECOGNIZES ONE WOMAN AS "RELATIONSHIP

MATERIAL" AND ANOTHER AS JUST A "FLING"



Did you know that men have several specific

terms and phrases that they use with each other to

think of and describe women?



It's a sort of "guy code" or short-hand slang

that men everywhere use with each other and their

friends.



One of my favorites that I've been hearing all

my life from men is the term "Cool Girl."



As in when a man says, "Yeah, I met this girl

the other night and she was a really "cool girl".



As simple as this sounds, the meaning that men

give this term is important and applies to a set

of very specific qualities.



Qualities that, although never actually

discussed among men, are universally understood.



Quick quiz here for you:



1) You've got cool fashion sense.



2) Great taste in music.



3) You hang with the hippest friends at the best

places.



4) And you're often the life of the party.



So, that makes you a "Cool Girl", right?



Not necessarily.



So, what in the world are men talking about?



And why are they so fickle?



Well, for starters, MEN DON'T MAKE SENSE. The

more you try and use logic and reason to figure

out or understand a man's thinking and behavior,

the more you're going to become frustrated and

upset.



It may seem simple or even downright

ridiculous, but men think of women as "cool girls"

when they see that a woman understands something

that other women can't even see going on.



Men see that a cool girl "gets it" on a level

that lots of other women don't.



They demonstrate to men certain social and

emotional understandings and ways of behaving that

resonate deeply, without having to be talked about

or explained.



You'll hear different stats for this, but

something around just 8% of communication is done

through the actual spoken word.



We're talking here about that AND the other

92%, which, for most women, is saying things to a

man that they don't even know they're saying.



To put it another way, "cool girls" exude

positive emotional energy that men can relate to.



And they're "naturally" the kind of women who

every man is inexplicably drawn to, even if they

doesn't look like a supermodel.



Want to know her secret?



In today's email I'm going to reveal EXACTLY

what makes you stand out as a "Relationship

Material" (a "Cool Girl") in a guy's mind.



And we'll talk about how you can harness your

own power to become one.



But first, let's learn what a cool girl ISN'T.

Let me ask you a question:



Has a man ever accused you of being too

"emotional?"



How about "moody?"



Or worse - maybe some guy actually called you

"hysterical" or "needy"?



Whatever he called you, it was the start of him

closing off or getting irritated with you and

things going wrong in the conversation.



What's frustrating for lots of women is that

men often react this way when you simply bring up

something you feel strongly about or you need to

get off your chest.



Sure, maybe you got a little choked up or felt

intense about it, but you were just being honest

with your feelings.



Well, I hate to be the one to break it to you,

but this isn't unusual for a man to do.



In fact, it's standard behavior for most men

to react to a woman with withdrawal or frustration

in these kinds of conversations.



Is it the "right" thing for a man to do?



Obviously not. But you might be forgetting that

MEN DON'T MAKE SENSE.



And don't get me wrong...



I'm not saying that honesty isn't important or

that you're not entitled to feel how you feel.



But, in order to make a relationship work, it's

CRITICAL for you to understand that men simply

aren't "wired" the same way that women are when it

comes to connecting on an emotional level.



Men open up, connect, and become emotionally

"committed" in different ways, and for different

reasons than most women do.



Unfortunately, lots of women never really learn

what these differences are... so they go about

trying to build a connection, attraction, and

a lasting relationship with a man by doing

what would work FOR THEM.



You don't have to be a genius to figure out

that this approach rarely works.



If you want some specific insights about what

most women do when they're starting out in a

relationship, or when they're just trying to

get closer to a man that only pushes him

away...



Then you need to check out my eBook "Catch Him

& Keep Him."



There's a specific section in the book I call

"The Biggest Mistakes Women Make With Their

Emotions" - and it talks about what this mistake

so many women make is, how to avoid having a man

pull away and resist you when you make it, and

what to do instead.



If you'd like to learn why a man will react in

a negative and fearful way to what you say about

your feelings and emotions (even when what you're

saying is only for the good of your relationship

and to show him you care), then go check out my

eBook now.



You can read it and start improving

your live life immediately.



It's time to change the ways a man often

responds to you with frustration or RESISTANCE.



Instead, learn what will get him to finally

and at long last listen, learn, and connect with

you on a deeper emotional level.



The key is UNDERSTANDING the "buttons" that

will cause most men to stop listening and

WITHDRAW... and instead learn how to communicate

directly and easily with the part of his

personality and mind that's open and receptive to

love, affection, and connection with you.



Men want love and to connect with a woman more

than they like to show...



And part of you instinctively knows this.



If you want to learn more about how to create

the kind of intense create attraction

that will lead to him wanting much more than just

a physical connection...



And will lead you both to connect with each

other on a more lasting emotional level...



Then I suggest you check out the specifics I

spell out in my eBook about the common behaviors

that "cool girls" use to communicate with men and

let them know they are "relationship material."



You can download your free copy of my eBook and

start reading it in literally minutes at the link

below.



http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/eBook







So, let's keep talking about some of the

important differences when it comes to

communicating with a man, creating ATTRACTION, and

growing towards something deeper.



Remember when I mentioned the idea of the "Cool

Girl" earlier?



Well, "Cool Girls" understand the facts of life

when it comes to how men can be different.



And what's more... they make these differences

work in their favor (and not against them like so

many other unfortunate women).



It's as if they've learned this unspoken "guy

code" that most other women don't even know is

going on right in front of them.



Well, today I'm letting you in on some of these

codes and guidelines... starting with a few of the

big "Don'ts":



"Cool Girl" DON'Ts:



- Cool Girls DON'T exaggerate about what's going

on around them or what a man's doing, unless

they're doing it as a joke or to make fun of a man

in a playful way.



- Cool Girls DON'T say everything that they're

feeling and experiencing. They think before they

speak. (Listen up to this one -- it's HUGE.)



- Cool Girls DON'T mention bad situations, issues

or problems from the past unless it's a total

"must" or extremely important and they haven't

been able to talk about it yet. They find the

right time for them AND their man to talk.

Otherwise, Cool Girls live in the present moment.



- Cool Girls DON'T try to FORCE a man to talk

about his feelings. They know that it will only

backfire and he'll think she's being needy and

close off.



Now, I know what you're probably thinking:



"How can they act like that? It sounds like

'Cool Girls' are totally fake or devoid of all

natural emotion."



Wrong.



"Cool girls" still experience all of the same

thoughts and feelings any normal healthy woman

has...



But, they've CHOSEN to adopt a different kind

of behavior that will ultimately get them the

response that they're looking for with the man.



They acknowledge the irrational ways of men and

let that help shape their actions, which results

in very powerful, very positive reactions from the

men in their lives.



Simply put, they've got guys eating out of

their hand, even in situations where other women

would have caused emotional turmoil and "drama."



And, isn't that something that YOU would love

to have too?



It's not manipulative or diabolical...it's just

plain common sense.



So, what are some of these "cool girl"

behaviors and ways of non-verbally communicating?



I'll get to that in just a minute...



First, let's take a look at a letter from a

reader with the potential to be a "Cool Girl" ...

if only she could keep her emotions from ruling

her decisions:



>>>Email From A Reader:



Hi Christian, I just purchased your book and I

have to say my eyes started to open in just a few

pages. I KNOW I've been making the mistake of

being too emotional. First of all, I should give

you some background. My boyfriend is in the Air

Force and he's stationed in San Antonio. I live in

Los Angeles.



Being in a long distance relationship has been

very hard on me. Especially since I'm not a

patient person.



We run into trouble when I'm feeling sad about not

seeing him and call him up expecting him to make

me feel better. I'm assuming that I shouldn't lean

on him emotionally since he doesn't respond when I

do.



I know he's worth waiting for. I just don't want

to do stupid girl things that will drive him away

:) I love him completely. I want this

relationship to work!!!!



Please send me any advice you can give me.



christine.



>>>My Response:



Ok, repeat after me. "I'm Christine, and I'm an

Emotion-a-holic."



Very good.



Now, say it one more time.



As they say in 12-Step programs, admitting that

you have a problem is the first step towards

recovery.



The thing is, I'm joking around with you and

calling you names around this serious situation

for a specific reason...



Because you're acting like a helpless little

girl so I have to make fun of you to get you to

realize it.



Stop it!



Now, get ready for some tough love...



You're better than how you're behaving, but in

a sick kind of way, it's easier for you to keep on

initiating the only real problem you spelled out

here in your relationship:



How you make your man be the one responsible

for you and your negative feelings.



A boyfriend is there for a lot of things in a

relationship, but to make you feel good each time

you get sad or down is NOT HIS JOB!



I'll repeat that in case you didn't hear me the

first time -



It's NOT HIS JOB to save you from the feelings

you have and make them go away.



That's called DEPENDENCY, and it leads both

people to frustration and resenting each other in

the long run.



Translation - there's little hope for any

LASTING or mutually fulfilling love in a situation

that involves one person dependent on the other

for approval, validation, or to experience love or

joy in life.



And, in case you don't already know this,

creating and fostering this kind of dependency is

one of the surefire ways to kill off any

ATTRACTION you might already have going in a

relationship.



Have you ever been with a man and had AMAZING

chemistry... but then it started to unravel and

fall apart when you became afraid he wasn't

"feeling it for you" anymore?



Which of course only made things worse as you

acted out of fear and uncertainty about him, his

feelings, and where things were headed



If you recognize this kind of situation, or any

of this kind of thinking or behavior in yourself,

then there is help.



Go check out my "Natural & Lasting Attraction"

CD/DVD program.



In it you'll learn how to create the kind of

ATTRACTION and EXCITEMENT with a man that's not

just Physical and "temporary"...



But, also the kind of ATTRACTION that lets a

man KNOW, on a deep emotional level, that YOU are

the one woman he HAS TO BE AROUND.



This program will explain from A to Z how

ATTRACTION really works with a man... and how to

make it LAST in the way few other women know.



A man does NOT decide that a woman is "the one"

for him because she has great qualities, or

because she likes to go to the same places he

does, or even because she has a great body. (I

know it seems like men can be shallow sometimes.)



The truth is, a man wants to be with a woman,

and only her, because of the way she makes him

FEEL when he's around her.



In other words, how much ATTRACTION she makes

him feel when he's around her.



Of course, if you don't know how to create a

deep level of Physical and Emotional Attraction

with a man, all the convincing, arguing, pleading,

or bribing him won't make up for it.



He just won't feel it.



This program will show you exactly how this

kind of deep and lasting attraction works and how

you can create and experience it with the man in

your life.



Best of all, this program spells out how to do

it all in easy-to-understand language. You'll find

it full of REAL WORLD examples and exercises

to get you started using the concepts and "skills"

in the program successfully.



To see a free video clip and hear what other

women have to say about this program, go here and
Now, let's get back to the topic of being


DEPENDENT (or "needy") when dating or in

relationships...



In case you don't see it, a man helping you to

feel better and satisfy your emotional needs can

actually make you a WEAKER PERSON.



And not only that, it can keep you and your

relationship from ever being able to GROW.



In fact, being emotionally dependent on another

person can actually cause a good relationship to

REGRESS.



Here's something you need to remember, but

sometimes forget when you're inside an intense

emotional situation with a man:



Relationships are supposed to be about growth,

and not about becoming dependent on someone else

meeting your emotional needs at any time you want

it.



And, part of you knows this about living a

strong, "real" relationship - that it can't meet

all your emotional needs.



But, part of you also wants and DEMANDS that a

man acknowledge and satisfy your feelings and

desires.



Part of you has the habit of wanting instant

emotional gratification.



"Love on demand."



Let me give it to you straight.



It's a man's place in a relationship to be a

good partner, to care for you, to listen, to be a

great lover, to connect, to be loyal, and to

share.



I get than men need to "show up" more often in

relationships.



But...



When you DEMAND that a man meet your emotional

needs and "lean" on him out of your own fears,

frustrations, and uncertainty... these problems

are ALL YOUR OWN.



And the truth is most men will eventually

become tired and fed up with a woman who is

constantly DEMANDING emotional approval and

understanding from him... instead of finding a way

to create the experience so that both she AND he

feel like they are having their needs met.



So, let's take some positive steps, because

things still aren't so bad.



First, for your own good, you need to figure

out WHY you're "sad", as you mentioned in your

email.



And I mean why you're sad personally, because I

think a lot of what's happening has nothing to do

with the man in your life at all.



Sure he makes mistakes and doesn't "get it".



But, you can get past that.



You need to address the CAUSE of your feelings,

and not keep trying to find "quick-fixes" for the

symptoms.



Think about it, and see if there's anything

else in your life and in the past that could be

making you feel sad - and then take some positive

steps around those.



Secondly, it's time to start acting like the

smart, fun, mature, healthy woman that he knows

and fell in love with.



She's in there somewhere, and it's up to you to

find her. Don't leave it up to him, because he

might get tired of carrying the relationship's

emotional tone for you.



Here's a few ideas about how to do that:



I want you to stop acting SO SERIOUS all the

time and getting yourself EMOTIONALLY WORKED UP.



It sounds dumb, but please start smiling more.



Your body has a strange and powerful ability to

affect your emotions.



Posture, breathing, activity and actual

relaxation are other great ways to simply give

yourself the gift of more positive emotions.



Ok, now back to your brain...



You're escalating your own fears and

frustrations and it's doing something that could

turn into a real destructive force in your

relationship:



You're creating a negative feedback loop that

just gets worse and worse as it goes.



Let's spell out what your feedback loop is so

you can interrupt it and get to better things...



The more you feel sad, the more you give him

sad and negative emotions.



And, the more negative emotions he gets from

you, the less he's able to stay happy and positive

himself and have the energy and desire to draw you

out of your girlish sadness and dependency on him

for your feelings.



Which of course, only makes you feel more sad

and helpless, so you turn to him more for help and

around we go again.



Don't let the NEGATIVE FEARS and EMOTIONS you

have RUIN THE LOVE LIFE you could have.



Learning to stop negative patterns in your life

and relationships is a "must-have" skill if you

want to have lasting and loving relationships.



The thing is, most people know that

relationships take work.



And long-distance relationships can feel like

even more work and give back even less immediate

"rewards."



Every phone call seems to have life-or-death

importance...



Every call, letter, and email is examined for

subtext and clues.



Every weekend visit has to be PERFECT or you

start to question everything.



It's only natural to feel a little more "needy"

or feel like your emotions are heightened all the

time.



But, the trick is not to let these feelings

overwhelm you.



If you do, they'll cause you to REACT

negatively to normal and natural situations.



When these negative reactions become common,

they keep you from actually doing positive things

that would make him feel MORE ATTRACTED and

CONNECTED to you.



And so the negative feedback loop continues.





A COMMON "EMOTIONAL CHALLENGE" IN RELATIONSHIPS

Most people don't truly think about and

appreciate the emotional "challenge" that comes

with committing to a mature, long-term

relationship like the one you're working on...



I'll bet that your relationship sometimes feels

like just a lot of work and sadness to you.



And as much as it scares you to death, you know

in the back of your mind that your man feels the

same way and sees what's happening.



He's not stupid.



I'll cut to the chase...



NOBODY wants their life or relationship to feel

like it's just a bunch of work.



And, a healthy-minded person will only stay

around so long in a situation that just doesn't

work and isn't going to change.



Especially if they're trying to resolve a

problem or feeling that isn't really their own.



The sad feelings that you depend on your guy to

fix create this situation in the worst way.



Not to mention that your sadness makes him see

you as weak and much less ATTRACTIVE as a woman

and partner.



In fact, as much as it stinks to hear, I've got

to tell you that one reason it might be getting

harder for your man to "pull you out" of your

sadness is that he's FEELING LESS ATTRACTED to

you.



And with a man, LESS ATTRACTION leads to LESS

EMOTIONAL CONNECTION and less emotional

generosity.



Following me here?



I know it stinks, and I might be a jerk in your

mind for saying it, but the good news is that it's

also easily fixed if you know how to get the real

ATTRACTION you used to share back again.



And, I'm here to help. Get yourself a copy of

my "Natural & Lasting Attraction" program right

now and you WILL get this area of your life back

on track.



I know you can, because I've helped TONS of

other women just like you to go from frustrated

and hopeless in their love life... to getting

back the hope, the joy, and the confidence that

comes from the certainty of knowing that a man

is feeling a deep level of connection and

attraction for you.



So don't wait. Go to the link below and I'll

send you a free 30-day trial of this program.



If you don't get everything you want out of

this program and start getting the RESULTS you're

looking for with a man in your love life after

working with the materials, then just send it back

by the end of the trial and you won't pay a thing.



No hassles.



Now's the time to take the next step in your

love life and make the connection, passion, and

commitment a man has with you UNBREAKABLE because

of how he FEELS when he's around you.



Go here to watch some free video clips from the

There's something you're not doing that you're


going to HAVE TO DO to stay sane and make it

through this with your man...



You have to make A CONSCIOUS CHOICE about your

feelings and your situation.



If you don't, you'll keep missing or killing

all the opportunities for CONNECTION and FUN that

still need to be going on between you two.



You see, the goal isn't to keep yourself from

having sad or negative feelings.



That would be impossible and "inhuman."



Reality just doesn't work that way, no matter

how great your relationship is.



Instead, the goal is to get to a place where

you can begin to observe how you're feeling and

then make conscious decisions using BOTH your

emotions and your intellect.



When you get involved in a relationship,

especially a long-term relationship, you're

CHOOSING to make some very important TRADE-OFFS.



Every once in a while, you need to remind

yourself of these trade-offs, as it will give you

a renewed understanding of the small sacrifices

you've made for the good things in your life.



But, you keep going back and creating sad

feelings for the situation that you chose.



Almost like these bad things just happened to

you and you couldn't do anything about them.



Again, stop playing the helpless woman.



Of course you're going to feel sad, frustrated,

and upset if you're not recognizing that YOU chose

this situation as a trade-off to continue with the

great guy and relationship you've got.



Realize that you choose your life when it comes

to most of the situations you find yourself in.



THE POWER OF CHOOSING TO CREATE ATTRACTION AND A

POSITIVE CONNECTION WITH A MAN



What you've been doing in the past isn't

working for you or him, (not really) and it CAN'T

feel good.



Do you really like the feeling you get when you

dump your sad feelings on your boyfriend and he

disappoints you sometimes with his response?



Makes you feel kind of low, right?



You said it yourself: when you're feeling down,

you call him, expecting him to make you feel

better.



It's not that he doesn't care...



It's that he doesn't RESPOND to the way you

communicate.



When men hear women getting emotional, they

usually do one of two things:



1. Immediately go into "Action Mode" and try to

"fix" the problem with concrete solutions (and

that's not usually what women want to hear)



2. SHUT DOWN

And I think you know which one happens more

often from experience, right?



Well, either way, both of these responses never

result in the comforting reaction that you might

be looking for.



Can I get a witness?



So, let's go back to this idea of "cool girls."



"Cool girls" know how to communicate with a man

in a way that leads a man to respond in a way that

works.



So, no more of that nonsense talk from your

email saying, "I'm not a patient person."



You don't have to be.



It just takes the emotional maturity to

recognize that the trade-offs - that you yourself

have already CHOSEN - are some of the challenges

here.



Stop playing victim to your own choices and

start finding reasons to be interesting and

ATTRACTIVE to him again.



Your man WILL RESPOND in kind.



"Cool girls" know this.



Here's a few of the "cool girl" Do's:



- Cool girls choose not to complain or talk about

things for too long that are not other people's

responsibility or impossible for anyone to solve,

given the current situation.



- Cool girls bring funny positive thoughts and

feelings to situations to create an experience

that men will want to have again and again.



- Cool girls know that they don't have to control

much with the situation around them for their own

comfort and to get the outcomes or responses they

want. They're willing to go with the flow when it

comes to social things, but make assertions when

they have opinions and ideas.



- Cool girls have options and things to do that

keep them satisfied so they don't feel like

they're left out if they're not invited to

something. (And even if the don't they certainly

don't complain about it or even mention it -- they

FIND something to do that makes them happy.)



- Cool girls prefer that a man makes up his own

mind; they don't try to make a man do something

she says or she can tell he doesn't want to do.



- Cool girls DO know that the way they feel and

talk about themselves is how men will feel about

them.



So, are YOU a "cool girl?"



Are you the kind of woman that men are

"naturally" drawn to and want to be with... for

more than just a fling?



Do you know what the other 92% of your

communication (the non-verbal communication) is

saying to a man?



And do you get how to say all the right things

verbally and non-verbally to let him instantly

know that you're the kind of girl he'd like to

connect with and fall in love with?



My eBook "Catch Him And Keep Him" teaches the

most critical "real world" strategies you need to

know to find and live the relationship you've

always dreamed of.



It's even got lots more psychological,

emotional and behavioral insights about the "cool

girl" that men naturally respond to in dating and

relationships.



The entire first section of my book is THE

definitive guide to understanding how attraction

works for men and their natural (and sometimes

irrational) biological differences that "cool

girls" get.



Each page of this section is full of concepts

and ideas to help you learn exactly what goes on

inside a man's mind, how attraction works for him

and how to turn that initial connection into a

lifelong commitment.



And, if that isn't all you're after, the second

section of the book is all about the "emotional

world" of men and women.



If you've ever wondered why a man reacted

the way he did, why he withdrew, or why he

responded with frustration when all you were

looking for was emotional connection, then you've

got to read this section, too.



You can download my eBook and be reading itHere's the thing:




Every man can end up seeing a woman as

"relationship material"... but, not every woman

knows how to make this happen with her.



And every man can date a woman and end up in a

relationship for a little while, but not every

woman knows how to keep things growing through the

good and the bad so that love and commitment

LASTS.



By the way, I do get A LOT of questions from

women about making that love and commitment last

-- so many, in fact, that I created a program to

help women better understand how to build secure,

lasting and committed relationships.



It's called "From Casual To Committed", and if

you are in a relationship now that you want to

I'll talk to you again soon, and best of luck


in life and love.



Your Friend,

Christian Carter

P.S. In case you didn't know, you can try my

"From Casual To Committed" program free for 30

days before paying anything.



You'll learn how a commitment process works for a

man, and how to bring him closer and grow together

as a couple instead of encountering RESISTANCE at

every step.



If you don't feel it's the most valuable

collection of advice, tips and techniques you've

ever heard about men and commitment, simply

return it within a month and you won't owe me a

thing.